Crazy Happy

I get a message from a friend today, informing me that there is something outside my door. I go see. It’s a shake from Arby’s and a positively adorable little succulent. It’s food for my body and food for my heart- a bundle of thoughtfulness on the doormat.

Today is the second of April, and the sun is shining in through the apartment window. It makes a patch of warmth on the living room floor, which becomes a perfect place to sit. I can hear the wind, for though it looks like spring outdoors, appearances can be deceptive, and there is a strong wind. It was quite cold this morning when I went out to get some exercise. However, it’s not totally unlike a typical spring in this part of the world. At least in the weather respect…

In other ways, it is unlike any other spring in my existence. Yet, even though I’m nervous about what could happen, there are little things that are making me so happy. Saturday, my roommates and I all had the day off. We went on a walk, and even got brave enough to spontaneously decide to wade into a frigid river. I love that about us- our joint spontaneity. On Sunday, I dressed up, even though there was no church. I’m home from work this entire week, and yet, it has been productive and fun. There have been birds singing in the mornings; I can hear them inside as I sit on the couch. There has been coffee and devotional time; I’ve scrapbooked and cleaned and cooked and read and practiced piano.

We bought a bushel of apples a number of weeks ago- they were a really good deal, which I was super excited about. Does anybody else get excited about good deals? You’d probably have to be a homemaker at heart to know what I’m talking about. Those apples have been great this week. I canned seven quarts of apple pie filling on Tuesday; yesterday, I made apple butter in the crock pot and ended up with six little jars of it. The jars boiled in a jolly way in their water bath as they were being canned. I get very excited, not only over good deals, but also about jars sealing. Those nice little popping sounds are so satisfying. My roommates may think I’m a little weird; after all, who gets excited over such random things? Well, that would be me. And I’m okay with that. I’m more than okay with being happy.

There were times in my life when I was not who I am today. There used to be days when I’d be in bed close to noon. I was tormented by thoughts and overcome with fatigue. I couldn’t even function well enough to be the employee I should’ve been. I was depressed, burned out, and underneath it all, making everything worse, were those OCD-type tendencies that I’d struggled with even as a child. Living with my mind was awful, and unless you’ve walked a similar path, you won’t be able to understand why it is so good to be so happy.

I did scrapbook pages titled “The Periodic Table of Happy Elements” this week. I scraplifted the idea for the project from a lady who had done a periodic table of her scrapbook elements. I loved the inspiration! Happy Elements: Jane Austen (Aus), classical music (Clm), sealing wax (Slw), Winnie-the-Pooh (Wp), polka dots (Pol), hedges (Hdg), and many more random things that make me happy. I included in this project a quote from Samwise Gamgee (Lord of the Rings):

“There’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo… and it’s worth fighting for.”

Oh, how I believe it. Call me an idealist, but there is good in the world. The milkshake and the succulent on the doormat were proof of it. The fact that spring is coming regardless of the pandemic is proof of it. The wedding invitation that came in the mail yesterday is proof of it. One of my roommates bringing home toilet paper last night is proof of it (okay, I’m tired of all the toilet paper jokes, too! ).

There is Jesus, and He is real solid proof that there is good in the world. James 1:17 says: “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variation or shadow of turning.” (NKJV) God is good, and He does not change. And Who is responsible for all the good in my life? He is.

It’s been a journey- a journey of healing and growth. It’s still going to be a journey. But oh, it is good to have so much joy! This spring is different due to the coronavirus, but it’s also different in a good way for me. I am more whole this spring than I was even a year ago. I never want to go back to who I was. Even in this pandemic, even with all the uncertainty, there is still so much good. So, I’ll listen to Shire music in the kitchen, and I’ll be happy about apples and cheesecake and coffee. What makes you crazy happy?

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